Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Be who you already are.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

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What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

If I get served by someone else's papers, am I legally required to inform the person that they got served, or the court that they served the wrong person?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

And the sadness?

I was tired of fighting.

How do I confess to my crush who had a traumatic past with his previous partner without losing the friendship?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of trying and failing.

What exactly is the difference between a surge protector and a fuse? Can a fuse protect the electronic devices from lightning instead of surge protector?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

The sadness was still there.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Can you explain the difference between fissionable and fissile materials and their role in nuclear power reactors?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why do people who aren't trans feel the need to put pronouns next to their name or picture? It seems so cringeworthy to me, to participate in that SJW paradigm of thought, like they are a spineless person who just goes along with the trends.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Why do some guys treat girls so badly?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s still here.

You are like me, then.

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It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I had run out of hope.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

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When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.